Kershaw Owners Unite!!!

That’s it!  I’ve had enough!  And hopefully you’ve had enough too.  At first I thought it was a bullpen conspiracy.  Hong Chi Kuo, Chan Ho Park and Jonathan Broxton were obviously jealous of Clayton Kershaw’s abilities all the attention he’s received this year, and just like the clowns down in Triple-A, they seemed completely incapable of closing out a victory for the rookie lefthander.  15 starts and only 6 decisions???  Sure the kid’s had some rough outings, but he does more good than bad and doesn’t deserve to have his gems tossed aside because of a shoddy pen.

GUILTY!

But now it’s worse.  The cancer seems to be spreading.  Suddenly Matt Kemp has joined the ranks of the haters and is obviously against the poor kid.  If you just looked at the pitching line of yesterday’s game you’d see some serious awfulness.  6 ER in 4 innings.  Atrocious, right?  Wrong!!  It really shouldn’t have been that bad.  Kershaw had a rocky first inning where he gave up a 3 run shot to Pat Burrell, but he settled down pretty nicely.  He cruised through innings 2 through 4, striking out 3.  But in the 5th, he got himself into a little bit of a jam and that’s where Kemp crapped on him.  With another run in (the 4th of the game he allowed), Kershaw got Burrell to hit a routine fly ball to center, not even deep enough to allow runners to tag.  But stupid Kemp, wearing his sunglasses on top of his hat, instead of on his face where sunglasses are supposed to be worn, lost the ball in the sun and let it fall behind him.  What a douche!!!  The sun is shining bright as can be midday in Philly and this idiot has his shades on top of his hat?  What the hell is that?  I thought we were supposed to be professionals here.  If you think it’s bright enough to bring sunglasses outside, then use them.  They’re not some freakin’ fashion accessory.  Idiot. 

Kershaw would have gotten himself out of the inning with minimal damage, probably could have gone another 2 innings and his line would have looked much better.  Might have even motivated his loser teammates to rally for a win.

So now it’s up to you — the Kershaw owners of fantasy.  Send your hate mail now to dodgers.com.  These jackasses need to know that their lackluster play is totally unacceptable.